Day 64 o el Dia sesentacuatro

Fasted for 6 days, even gave up cafe! The church service that week was impactful, I was full of Grace and clear visioned. I felt the weaknesses and strengths arise to the surface as if it were raining for 7 days and 7 nights on dry California land, bringing things out from deep within. It brought about a new light to my life and it's understanding. Friday, I rushed after work to the post office to see if mi musica Cristiana cds had arrived yet. Daniel Calveti's wasn't there yet but the album, "Te Dare Lo Mejor, en vivo" by Jesus Adrian Romero was there inside my mailbox. I was on my 5th day fasting, at that time and was so thrilled to listen so it could give me more of Praise. It was my journey also in learning mas espanol. Iv'e been listening to it now for a straight week and understand or have translated most of the songs. My spanish seems to be getting better! Raining all week long here in Los Angeles was high time for work and gym and home for me. It gave me focus to be alone. Here day and night alone. Sometimes so alone with several light sighs and soft breathes of sadness and longing in my chest. Women, young ladies, like myself, Latinas most certainly have a hard time being alone. A heart full of passion and care and thought. A body of movement like a slick snake and gallant and majestic like a galloping staillion. It gets hard sometimes wanting someone to love. Someone who fits me, who is my style, my taste, my match. A kind that is like a pair of well made shoes, binding and well worn, kept up through time. I long for that, but it is in God's time, since I am trusting him. If more of us made better decisions with choosing one another and with patience and sacrifice, we would find someone good eventually. We just don't take the time. We want everything quick. We feel too much. And we let our emotions lead over our mind. We are scared to be alone for too long, because, "Oh, God forbid we be alone, we might have to face ourselves" and so many really never face themselves. They keep jumping one relationship to the next, hoping to fulfill the emptiness they feel inside themselves. It never works and they always find themselves lost, searching, searching for an answer they will never find unless they take the time to know their strengths and weaknesses. I am truly happy that I am working on little things of myself that I had let go and drown in pockets of deep puddles through these years. I have found myself in Faith, not fear and have pressed forward. Things I have procrastinated throughout the years have become a thing of the past. Maxell audio cassette, recorder, Living Language Beginners book and a neon green notebook, just newly bought with unwritten pages. Inner peace, joy, an excitement, a curiosity, an unforgetting. Me, my pencil and my poetic hand ready to write mis pensamientos diarios en español .