Day 1 o el dia uno

Growing up with what you missed can sometimes be a good thing. You just have to try harder to find it and sometimes it can be more interesting that way. When things are often handed to you, you most often take them for granted until later on in life of course when you start to realize what life and it's meanings are meant to you. Inside each one of us lies an unopened discovery incubating waiting to be explored. I for example am a curious, creative person that has continuous blocks and stops with the thought of the actual act. Doing is key and often I think too much and not do or get around to it. This blog is a start, day by day. It seems when we are younger, we can do things without care and embrace learning and absorb it so much more quickly. As we get older it just seems there are more blocks that ourselves, we put up. Well no more. Here is my start.
To rediscover myself as a poet and lyricist, I must go back to my roots. I am half Puerto Rican and White. I grew up with my mom who is white and mi papa es Puerto Riqueno. Both seperated when I was 5. Of course being in a band and being a rockero, having kids and a family wasn't exactly the type of life my father had intended to have. He was born for it. He could play the electric guitar like Jimmy Hendrix and Santana. No one knew where his passion came from since he came from a very stict household. His mom, mi abuela, was religious and strict and declared no type of that music would go on in the household. A mind of endless creation, my dad was gifted. No kids for him...ever! Then my mom had us, si yo tengo gemela, tambien, pero my dad was a free spirit so he went rocking and rolling himself in lala land while my poor mami had to struggle. A lion hunting, guarding and living all to have her kids a good life. I am so proud and blessed to have a mom like her. We grew up until about 5, where my mom had had it with my father's messing around and not settleing down along with mi abuela wanting to raise us for her own, my mom cut off the side of my dad's family and raised us.
English, english english from that point on until I got into middle school on up and I started learning "spanglish". I always talked very soft and slow, made fun of alot, so I couldn't speak spanish with much confidence. But my Boriqua freind, Cristy, taught me the ropes, we would start going out to parties with all Dominicans and Puerto Ricans and I learned Bachata, Mirengue and some salsa. I fell inlove with reggaeton and salsa and Bachata. I knew inside of me there was mas latina just steaming outside of me, boiling from the inside. I looked more Boriqua than white, I felt it, but was I? The language...people would say..oh but I thought you were Puerto Rican? Well I am, at least half, at least I feel more towards Boriqua than the other way. And I would say well you can call me a Bostorican if that's good enough for you. (since I'm from Mass) Anyways, I fit in just fine and gathered mostly Puerto Rican and Black freinds. I didn't hang out with white people that much, I never felt I could fully be myself if they wern't real enough or street enough..I know sounds funny but hey..
Anyways, this discovery incubating inside me for so long needs to be explored. It has been too long and I am young enough now to discover it and explore the cracks and crevices and at least try to stick with something and finish it!
Since I know some basics and street spanish already, I am starting with the Living Language book I have here in mi casa from a class I was taking, and I am reading already up to the third chapter. So there is my grammar. And what I am doing is learning spanish through song! I here a song I like in spanish and I get the lyrics and practice it. I give homage to Ivy Queen! Just hearing her makes me interested. So I am studying the lyrics and singing it so I can get the Boricua flavor added into my speaking and into my soul. I think this is a very interesting way for me to combine song and spanish to learn my roots..and all together start knowing what la musica latina is saying! Lol...ok well here I go..I will report back in a few days, if not tomorrow night..